Today I...

...met my cousin Gia for the first time. She was very nice to me, and offered me some of her toys. She kept saying "play!" "play!", and then seemed to get upset when I wouldn't play with them.

I don't know if anyone clued you in, but I'm only 11 freakin' days old, kid. I can't even hold my own head up, so what makes you think I can operate your high-tech colored wax writing tool? And by the way, the way you cough and wipe your nose makes me really worried I'm going to contract some nasty disease from you. I HAVE NO IMMUNE SYSTEM! A little help here, folks, I'm a freakin' newborn.

Sorry, I'm just grumpy, because I need some boob. Yo, mom! Get over here!

That is all...