Champagne

Once again Mom and Dad abandoned me with that maniac Gia. They just had to go to Mom's work buddy's wedding reception. They got all fancied up and then dumped me on Aunt Shannon andUncle Robby for FIVE HOURS! Seriously, look at me. How could you be without me all that time? I'm charming and witty. People crave Walker-time.

This is a pick of Scarlett and her new hubby - you can't really see them that well so I'm adding another picture of Scarlett and I. I think I'm way cuter than that dude she married anyway.

Anyhoo, back to the story. I was soundly sleeping when they finally got their butts back to Mabletucky to pick me up and take me home to my adoring fans (read Ralphie, Dirty, Charlie and Annie). Well of course I woke up, and of course I wanted some boob. But this time was different - the taste was like sparkly sunshine and butterfly kisses. Heaven. It turns out Mom didn't bother to pump and dump. Thanks for beginning the killing off of my brain cells so early - I hadn't planned on starting that ritual until I turned thirteen or so and get up enough courage to bust open the liquor cabinet.

Well my first brush with alcohol, albeit breast milk flavored with champagne, was a drowsy one. I fell asleep (blissfully) almost right away. Last thing I heard was mom say, "looks like he inherited your PTFO tendencies, Micah". Zzzzzzzzz......