Animal Farm meets Macy's

Ever found yourself getting a ride out of some cute little porker and decided to do it under cover so no one can see you? Well we did the same not too long ago!

We went christmas shopping and then rode the Pink Pig at Macy's. For those who are not familiar with this Pig, as daddy was not, I shall explain it.

• It is a train.
• A train whose cars are made to look like pigs.
• You pay someone to ride this pig train around the inside of a large tent.
• Your ride lasts 2.2498 minutes, and you hear a "story" about the pig.
• You get off the train, and then buy numerous Pink Pig-themed items.
• You go home satisfied, Mr. Macy's goes home a rich man.

No one notices that the Pig is an overt symbol for 1. greed, 2. capitalism, 3. corporate indulgence, 4. fat chicks, and 5. rampant consumerism.

No one notices that the Pink Pig pops up in the parking lot of a major retailer *at Christmas*, that people are charged to ride it, or that the novelty items which are overpriced and yet somehow on sale in the tent are reminders to all that you paid someone to ride said Pig.

People stand in line for the Pink Pig, and talk about what a tradition it is for kids to ride the Pink Pig. Some people talk about how their grandchildren are riding it, and their children rode it, and in fact they themselves rode it as children back in the 1700's. I hear the Iroquois helped the Pilgrims build the original Pink Pig, which was used to give little injun and religious-nut children rides around the forts of New England. Ahhh, tradition.

Anyone else think that Squealer here is FRACKIN' SCARY?! What shoddy parenting school did you attend that they teach you it is ok to subject me to this? Get ready for some therapy bills, mom.

Needless to say, mom was pumped to have me ride the Pink Pig. So I obliged. The seats are just big enough for one baby and a garden gnome to sit side by side, so daddy had to ride in a separate car. Ours was named "Napoleon", and daddy's was named "Old Major". He was snickering about some irony, but since I can't stand on my own two legs nor control my bodily functions yet, I don't even know what irony means.

We rode the pig around and around and that was interesting. Some of the decorations were rather, colorful. The interior of this tent is decorated in all pink. It's as if Mr. Bubble exploded inside the tent and his innards coat everything. But the ride was fun and I'm told we'll do it again next year. Mom even bought an ornament that will serve to remind us that next year, Mr Macy and his Pink Pig will be waiting for holiday shoppers.

That is all...